Dear Letter Checkers Whose Job It Is To Open The Dean's Mail Beforehand, In Cases of Security And Whatnot,
I realize, that you have a very stressful job. I know that the near-constant threats of something or others might threaten your own life or the lives of those close to you. On the flip side of this note, is the usual drivle, that usually comes through these kinds of channels. Accompanying this letter, is a case of Brewfest Beer of the Month, and some expensive cheeses. Have at them, at your leisure.
- Doctor Marrion H. MacHarren
(On the other end of the letter, lies a seperate note.)
Due to recent events involving a drunken monkey, personal matters, and various other things, I have decided to host a rather nice and very expensive public party at my own expense for reasons that don't involve you. Obviously, you are invited. Please bring some alcohol to the Greymane Manor house, which I will be occupying in a slightly legally grey manner. Please, do not inquire why the mailing staff may or may not be drunk or smell like cheese.
- Doctor Marrion MacHarren
(P.S. Please, please bring alcohol. The caterers can only smuggle so much booze over international borders, as they can.)